This letter has been in my head for a while now, thanks to Jared Padalecki’s Represent Campaign. In his campaign he talks about how important awareness for depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide is.
Well in January 2012 I had hit rock bottom. I was on medication and therapy for my depression which I had been diagnosed about 2yrs earlier. I was struggling with my every day life. Sometimes I was thinking that I didn’t deserve my wonderful husband and my children, that my family would be better off without me. I was also in a friendship that was very toxic. It was one sided and it sucked the good out of me. So one day I was driving down the freeway and I thought to myself, if I get killed in an accident, I really don’t care. I struggled to get up every morning, cause I feared there would be messaged that told me what a terrible job I did and why certain things had not been finished. Through all of this my husband stood beside me. He never said a bad word, but there was always the fear he would leave.
Then one day I searched through Netflix and I came upon a show of two boys, who were searching for their Dad. They encountered numerous Monsters and kept going, cause they believed in Family. Each day, I got up and watch how Sam and Dean fought beside each other and for each other and I watched 6 season in probably 2 weeks. My mood got better, cause I knew I could go back and watch “Supernatural”. I also started to find the Supernatural Fandom and it’s fans and I was accepted without questioning, why I had not watched the show from the beginning, but with open arms. I felt at home.
In April, my sister came to visit and she probably saved my life. She hit me upside the head and made me realize that working with this toxic person is just bad for me and my family. And if it is one thing I learned from the Winchesters, family is everything. I realized one day after sewing all night and then being told that I did a crap Job (which if you know me and my work does not happen), that this was it. I was done, I rid myself of this person and cut all ties. It was a very freeing, and my mood lifted instantly.
It is now 3yrs later and this store is my therapy. It’s my creative outlet, I can make the things I want and don’t have anybody telling me that it’s not good. I am my own boss, if I don’t get something done, it’s not the end of the world. When my phone goes off there is no longer anxiety about what I could have done wrong, it joy, cause it might be a friend that just wants to say Hi.
Sometimes there are still bad days, but the good out weigh the bad. I was lucky to have my family to help me, and they are still helping. I am glad I went to Therapy cause if I didn’t this might not have ended the way it did.
What I want to say is, if you know someone that suffers from depression, be a friend, try to lift them up and don’t brush it off.
I want to thank all my customers, followers and likers cause I look forward to reading your messages and you all have lifted my spirits on many occassions. So please if you can, buy a shirt from Jared, as this will help so many people. Like I was blessed and still am.
From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU Geeksters, Supernatural, Jensen and Jared for bringing Sam and Dean alive.